Bamby Media

Convos with Kiddos Podcast

How Babies Are Made

Episode_03_How_Babies_Are_Made

We’re not sure how factual the information provided in this particular episode is, but it’s definitely a very good laugh. We’re particularly mortified by how the baby is supposedly getting their (bran dense) food.

So if you’re planning on trying to make a baby, remember to stock up on fibre rich foods. You wouldn’t want your baby to starve.

Theme song “Skeletons are Made of Bones” created in Logic Pro X by our Head Honcho - Brianna Ansaldo & Heidi.


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— FULL TRANSCRIPT —

<music>

Heidi: ”Skeletons are made of bones. (a bunch of times) Skeletons are in the dead. Persons die sometimes on the bed".

Hello, my name is Heidi. Woah! I can hear myself!
Welcome to my podcast, Convos with Kiddos. 

Today this episode is called uh, I forgot.

Today this episode is called How Babies Are Made. I know all about how babies are made because I have a baby brother and he is awesome-bo-dawesome.

Cut.

<music>

Brianna: Can you explain to me how babies are made?

Heidi: They grow inside people’s tummy, and when a mum’s eat food it goes into their tummy, and the babies eat the food.

Brianna: So can a daddy have a baby in the daddy’s tummy?

Heidi: Oh my god, that would be really weird for a man.

Brianna: Well how come a man can’t have a baby in his belly?

Heidi: Well it’s because mans have muscles in their bellies.. 

Brianna: Ohhh…

Heidi: Mans have really strong muscles, and the muscles could just kick the baby who flips in soccer, or stuff. So that’s why they can’t have babies.

Brianna: So mummies don’t have any muscles in their bellies? 

Heidi: Yeah, because if mummy’s are playing soccer then it doesn’t hurt her baby.

Brianna: So let me get this straight. Men can’t have babies because they have muscles in their bellies. 

Heidi: Yeah.

Brianna: Ladies can have babies because they don’t have muscles in their bellies.

How does a baby get into the mummy? 

Heidi: Babies come in these little blobs that look like eggs. Then the eggs drop and they plop into a woman’s belly. Then a boy eats bran, like can make a baby’s poo grow big. So a mummy puts a penis in her vagina and then a food from a daddy goes into the woman’s mouth, I mean it goes into her vagina then it goes up to her tummy, then a baby can eat that.

He swallows it. It goes inside his penis then a penis squirts out that food into a vagina, then a baby’s eat that vagina.

Brianna: <laughs>

How long are they in the belly for?

Heidi: Well, a pretty long time.

Brianna: Really?

Heidi: Well not until your dead.

Brianna: So maybe like two minutes?

Heidi: No, two minutes are way too short. Probably just like sixty.

Sixty. 

Brianna: Sixty what?

Heidi: Sixty.

They only stay in there for sixty.

Sixty minutes. 

Brianna: <laughs>

Heidi: I mean six minutes. 

Actually, how long do babies stay in there for?

Brianna: Ten months. 

Heidi: Oh my god.

Brianna: Yeah. It’s really long. 

Heidi: I’ve had enough of talking babies. 

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